Notes of Love

April 30, 2011 - First special date with Carlo. Yup, we made tons of date yet this one so far for our two years anniversary was the best indeed! The secret? Well, it's all reserved as one.

May 08, 2011 - The last Sunday spent of Carlo with us. He bought a gallon of ice cream. Rocky road in flavor which is my favorite. He also brought some Bangus (Milk Fish) and Tilapia. He cooked tinolang bangus and sweet & sour tilapia. Both are superb in taste. Without enough effort because he's a good chef by faith. =)

May 08, 2011 - Yup, same memorable day. I used to be a childish and a trouble maker in our relationship. Yes, he was the peaceful and loving soul in return. This day, I've never leave a gracious last bonding moment with him. Sad to think, I had a fight with him pinched him and punched him but he just hug me tightly and kissed my tears away. If only I knew it will be our last moments together, I will never do the thing....I am sorry my love....

May 09, 2011 - He went out early as 4:30AM going to work. I usually watched his steps as he disappeared. This time, I never looked his back longer as he went gone. If only I could tell the time ahead, I will run into his back with my bare footsteps. To tell him, how manly his back to lean on. A best friend and lover that has been my strength.

May 09, 2011 - Evening of the same date, he sent a message on my phone asking what's my dinner that night. A simple thought that cherish simple moment. Yet, it gave a bigger space on shelf of my memory. Then he called up on my unattended phone. 3 missed calls. When he reached me, he never complained. He never ever punished me with some abused words even if I got a 25 missed calls from him. He patiently waits for my words. Then we always ended a happy-loving talk. The most that I have missed with him when he ask about my kids. Then assuring me the good future of my kids which he loved them as his own.

If only I knew that will be our last non-stop phone calls I will let my phone burn to our deepest talks. It is because long distance calls will be costly. And I want to save his money for more personal talks.

May 10, 2011 - He left me stranded into loneliness. He went to work -- not here but in Qatar. The moment I was too afraid within our entire relationship. The foolish of me, I sent him bad text messages to absorb the loneliness that I am feeling. I am pushing him away. Then on my 16 rubbish messages he just sent once saying "Please forgive me baby. I am trying not to let you down. I am here for our dreams that we used to create. I love you and you know that. I will never be the other man. I want to be your real man. This is my Qatar number save it. If I really leave you then I will never be sending this message. Right?" That simple note flushes my wrong thoughts. I've realized how does he tried and cares me from his precious roots of love. Stupid non-sense jealous goddamn me!

May 11, 2011 - 8:30AM time in Manila. 4:30AM time in Qatar. He phoned me. Once again my unattended phone leave 8 missed calls. One hour later, he reached me then again I am trying to be matured enough. When I heard his distant coughing voice, I'd tried not to cry. We talk over our hearts. Then I told him to save more voice calls. He said he will phone me again, I said "don't be. Just take your sleep, baby. I love you." He was happy "I love you too...I love you three and I love you four and more!"

We ended a happy talks. Now, I am still trying my best to be braver than him. Two years? Too long. Long distance relationship wasn't easy. But it's gonna be perfect with the perfect man. I am counting ahead of time baby. I knew you we're not reading my blog as you said it will be only a bloody nose. I am writing this love notes to say how grateful and thankful I have found someone like you. My total opposite, my soulmate. Thank you for loving my kids as your own. Your effort was truly appreciated.

"There is no long distance about love, it always finds a way to bring hearts together no matter how many miles there are between them." - lonely soul
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